subitoallegra:

The ultimate winner of Cards Against Humanity.

peixesass:

pikanoob:

seeaann:

when friends make plans in front of you but don’t invite you

when accidently making plans in front of friends you don’t want to invite and they invite themselves

when someone hits your pokemon and its super effective

(Source: xxbecstarrittaxx)

the-holy-orange:

I just had to do it..

ludicrouscupcake:

malachiteaccoutrement:

For years, Andrew Hussie ran the storyline for Homestuck.

Then, everything changed when Caliborn ascended to the god-tier.

Only John Egbert, general protagonist of the storyline, could stop him.

But when the fandom needed him most, he vanished….

FUCK IG N

abookwormcalledellie:

thewafflemonster:

You know how there’s a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way.

Does that mean colour is like

a pigment of your imagination.

YOU FUCKING DIDN’T

confusedtree:

Out of curiosity, I looked into how many people are killed by escalators every year, and while the statistic is honestly pretty negligible, it’s still a number. We live in an incredible world

fuckyeahsexanddrugs:

the-chubby-nerd:

What the fresh fucking hell did I just look at

wOT

(Source: esoteric-surgery)

dorothy-cotton:

THE WORST PART ABOUT CONSTRUCTING YOUR OWN FICTIONAL UNIVERSE IS

FUCKING NAME

FOR EVERYTHING

AND EVERYONE

or-should-i-say-douche:

deerdork:

I attend a school filled with obnoxious sheltered rich people and when I went in for my english exam I realised that, among a sea of brunettes and blondes, I was the only one with an unnatural (neon pink) hair colour

and that is when i became aware i am the protagonist of an anime

cheese3d:

what the hell happened to him

(Source: cory-doctorow)

davedirk:

DID THIS SEEM ESPECIALLY EERIE TO ANYONE ELSE OR

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WHAT AM I DOING IN HERE, TENNISON? QUITE SIMPLE, REALLY. I OWN THIS DRAWER, LIKE I OWN THIS COMPANY, AND I WILL OCCUPY WHATEVER PORTION OF THE COMPANY I FEEL LIKE, WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE, AND UNLESS YOU CAN FIND ‘EXPLAINING MY ACTIONS TO SLACKJAWED, BUNGLING ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES’ SOMEWHERE ON MY C.V. I SUGGEST YOU SIT DOWN AT THAT DESK I GRACIOUSLY ALLOW YOU TO HAVE AND STOP WASTING MY TIME WITH YOUR BABBLE. IF I WANTED TO BE DISAPPOINTED BY YOUR SEMI-COHERENT RAMBLING I’D CALL A SALES MEETING.

NOW WHERE ARE THOSE REPORTS I ASKED FOR? 

STOP LOOKING AROUND, YOU TIT. I’M SITTING ON THEM. HOW DID YOU GET THIS JOB? AM I YOUR FATHER? DO YOU HAVE BLACKMAIL PHOTOS OF ME? CAN YOU EVEN READ, TENNISON?

I’M GOING TO GO DOWN TO 14 AND SLEEP IN THE 11”X17” PAPER TRAY IN THE COPY ROOM. I’LL BE BACK AT 3 AND I EXPECT YOU’LL HAVE THE SECOND QUARTER PROJECTIONS COMPLETED AND FAXED OVER TO MARTY.

_{[preorder the book]}

a-pet-misha-collins:

When you’re in the shower and you hear a noise